All of my kids are grounded today. Yes, after the morning we just survived I have issued a sweeping decree of punishment over all three children. Actually, each kid is grounded for a reason specific to them but it was that much of a stellar morning that they all managed to piss me off and call down my wrath upon their pointed little adolescent/teenager heads.
I won’t go into all the gory details of our morning…here’s just a taste, a small sampling, of our first two hours of waking: one kid falling asleep in the bathroom and wasting ALL the hot water that they had just turned on; another one claiming that every single pair of underwear they own is now missing, never mind the ginormous pile of laundry in their closet; yet another playing with the cats when they should be getting dressed; missing underwear child then yelling at cat child over who’s lunchbox is who’s; sleepy child continuing to sleep during the 20 minute car ride (even though I was doing my best to bounce their head off the window on the corners) and then telling me at the last possible moment that they need money for lunch. And those are just the high points…there was plenty of lower-level grumbling, complaining and attitude to round out a wonderfully awesome morning. Yea, just awesome.
Who put me in charge of this circus anyway? Oh, wait, that’s right…my uterus did. Damn it.