World’s Okayest Mom

Let me tell you a little story, boys and girls…once upon a time there was a woman who aspired to be a great mother.  She played educational games with her little ones and dressed them cute and taught them Bible stories.  She protected them from harmful outside influences and tried hard to keep their beautiful innocence intact.  In fact, she didn’t even cuss in front of them.  Come to think of it, she didn’t cuss nearly as much back then.  And she had lots of ideas of how these little beings were going to be when they grew up and what things they would like and basically just a lot of grandiose ideas.  For those of you who are slow on the uptake, it’s me, okay, that woman is me.  Just so we are all on the same page…

Let’s jump ahead about 10 years or so.  Now that same woman is just happy to get the children out the door to school with relatively-weather-appropriate clothing on their backs, homework in their hands and something decent in their lunches.  Oh, and not be the last one in the drop-off that morning.  Yes, I now only aspire to be the World’s Okayest Mom.  Not the best, just not the worst.

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The mug I need….

It’s because I am now a realist people…raising three humans will do that to you.  I just need to get them through this part of their lives without fucking them up too badly.  That’s it.  That’s my new goal.  It would seem simple but let me give you a little example of why I no longer aspire to lofty thoughts of well-adjusted offspring.  I pray with my kids each morning before school…yes, I know, I just used the f-word and now I’m talking about praying…I think you’re beginning to see my point.  Anyway, I’m praying with my 15 year old as we make our way along the back streets to the student drop off area.  So, I have my hand on his shoulder and I’m driving along, praying, and this idiot in front of me decides that they don’t want to get caught in the traffic snarl of the drop-off area so they slam on their brakes, pull to the curb and stop right there to drop off their kids.  I know, right???  Here’s what that sounded like in my car: “Lord, we ask that you be with Wyatt today as he goes…YOU DUMBASS!…into school today.  Oh geez, I just cussed while I was praying, that’s not good.”

Now you get it, don’t you?  Yes you do.  And some of you are laughing because you understand how life and kids and stuff just wears you down and makes you happy for just ‘okay’.  The rest of you are shaking your heads and thinking, ‘this woman is going straight to hell’.  I know, I’ve heard it before.  But, God and I talk about it pretty much daily and I’m still hopeful that me and my coffee mug can hang with Him instead.  Even if I’m just okay at being a mom.

 

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