“This is one of the longest posts I will ever make, and one of the most real too. Everyone will go through some hard times at some point. Life isn’t easy. Just something to think about. Did you know the people that are the strongest are usually the most sensitive? Did you know the people who exhibit the most kindness are the first to get mistreated? Did you know the ones who take care of others all the time are usually the ones who need it the most? Did you know the three hardest things to say are I love you, I’m sorry, and help me? Sometimes just because a person looks happy, you have to look past their smile to see how much pain they may be in. To all my friends who are going through some issues right now–let’s start an intentional avalanche. We all need positive intentions right now. If I don’t see your name, I’ll understand. May I ask my friends wherever you might be, to kindly copy and paste this status for one hour to give a moment of support to all of those who have family problems, health struggling issues, worries of any kind and just needs to know that someone cares. Do it for all of us, for nobody is immune. I hope to see this on the walls of all my friends just for moral support. I know some will!!! I did it for a friend and you can too. You have to copy and paste this one, NO SHARING… I will leave it in the comments so it is easier for you to copy.”
This keeps showing up in my Facebook feed and I get it, we all need to be nicer to each other but come on. There are so many things wrong with this namby-pamby paragraph of gushiness. Let me break it down for you in my oh-so pleasant vernacular.
First, let’s start with the obvious: I’m pretty sure everyone already knows that life isn’t easy. In fact, I think that most people consider it too hard most of the time, and then they like to tell the rest of us about it. No, life isn’t easy. Sometimes, I would go so far as to say that life sucks. But really…let’s look at it objectively. We live in the United States of America. For most people, the biggest stressor we have is balancing work & home life, or stretching the grocery budget, or if we can pay the cell phone bill and the cable bill from the same paycheck. First world problems, people. When we say that life is hard, I think it’s important to understand that we mean “America-hard”…not like, say, “Somalia-hard” or “Ethiopia-hard”. I’m pretty sure it’s a relative scale. So, let’s keep it in some type of perspective, shall we?
Second, and I know this makes me a bad person, but I get annoyed at the touchy-feely, people-are-sensitive-so-you-need-to-be-nice-to-them stuff. Yes, we are all sensitive creatures, some more than others, and yes, we do tend to step on each other’s feelings more often than not. BUT…sometimes what people need to do is stop being so sensitive. Yes, there are times when we need to be quiet and caring and come alongside people to encourage them. But, there are just as many times when we need to be the person who tells them to stop wallowing in self-pity and to stop whining and to start taking ownership of their situation. It’s this thing called ‘coping’ and it’s in really short supply nowadays.
And we all know those people out there that hide behind the ‘life is hard’ and ‘people don’t understand the pain behind my smile’ mantra just because it’s easier. It’s easier for everyone to feel sorry for them and treat them with kid gloves, rather than just call them on their shit. I know you know people like that, right? People who you just want to ask “WTF?”
Here’s my third issue with this little nugget of feelings….intentions. Intentions? Really? That’s what’s going to make things better? Well, fuck, I can handle that. I intend to be a better person all the time. I intend to eat better. I intend to not curse so much. I’m always intending to lose 10 pounds. Wait…you mean intentions don’t actually make things happen? Hhhhmmm….so that’s why I’m still a caustic person who likes a good burger, cusses too much, and still needs to lose that 10 pounds. It all makes sense now. Because – news flash – intentions don’t mean shit. No. Really. Isn’t there a road to hell somewhere paved with them? So why would we need to start an ‘intentional avalanche of good intentions’. I cannot even express how just writing that has grated on my nerves. Seriously, that’s how annoying I find this. Back to the point…how about we actually do something to make things better for people? You know, like actions and stuff. Here’s a prime example: I’ve always thought that I should help out at a food bank. I’ve intended to help out but I have yet to do so. My sister, on the other hand, actually physically goes down and packs food boxes and distributed goods on the weekends. And she take her daughter too. Not only is she actively making a difference, she’s also teaching the next generation to do the same. She’s winning at this thing called life.
And finally…all of this is happening on Facebook. Even if this little bundle of misguided sensitively training could do any good…it’s on Facebook. The place where people go to be the people they really aren’t. How are good intentions in a fake place going to help anyone? It’s nothing. It’s nothing made up of nothing being used for nothing. If you want to do something, get off social media, grow a little thicker skin, look around you to see how you can actually help people and then…wait for it…go out and actually do it! If people focused more on what they could be doing instead of what they could be getting, we’d all be pretty fucking awesome. True story.