A few weeks ago I mentioned to Mike that I had noticed a few other moms that I was friendly with had lately seemed standoffish. His response was immediate and, to me, completely out of left field: “Maybe it’s because of your blog.” …huh?… I must have shown my complete cluelessness on my face because he just shrugged and added “You do say shit and fuck a lot, Amy. Not everyone appreciates your vocabulary.” Well yeah, I know that. I just didn’t think it would be the source of someone I’ve already known for years deciding not to give me the time of day.
Since then, this conversation has stuck in the back of my head and I’ve been noodling it around every once in awhile, trying to figure out if he’s right. He usually is. But the more I thought about this, the more I was still surprised that this blog, curse words and all, would have any effect on people at all. It’s just my random writing and scatterbrained thoughts…the best I hope for is that it’s good for a chuckle every now and then. My goal is not to offend nor is to conform…it is simply my chosen form of communication. I’m fairly socially awkward and I find that I either talk too much, too loudly or about the wrong topics when in a social setting. So blogging allows me to have a conversation and then edit it before it’s sent out for general consumption. (Side-note: that means that the ridiculousness that you read here has been typed, read, edited, re-read, re-edited and then I’ve gone “yes, this is what I want to say” and hit publish. Yup.)
I realize that this blog is a one-sided conversation though and perhaps that’s why Mike’s comments caught me off guard. I don’t receive much feedback and I don’t look for much…once I write something and publish it, it’s gone from me. It doesn’t hang out in my head anymore. Boom. Done. I don’t check to see how many people have read it because it’s mostly just a cathartic expression for me. And yes, it is cathartic for me to cuss. It is cathartic for me to be funny and ridiculous.
So, all that being said, I have one thing to say to anyone reading this blog that finds me offensive and therefore doesn’t want to hang around me: OK. Really. It’s ok. We are all adults here, we don’t all have to get along and be chummy. And really, if you have found me offensive in the past, I doubt you’re reading this right now anyhow but what the hell. But, seriously…if my vocabulary offends you, or if the fact that I’m not opposed to gay marriage makes you worry for my soul, or if you just don’t like me, it’s OK. I don’t mind. As a socially awkward yet inwardly hilarious person, I just really don’t care. Hellloooo….have you met me? I’m two steps from being a hermit….I prefer it when most people don’t talk to me because then I don’t have to try to figure out the appropriate responses. Besides, the interweb is a great big place and there are lots of other blogs that you can read out there about muffins and super moms and how to teach your kids not to swear. Feel free to be an adult and choose what you want to read because here’s the scoop: I’m not going to censor myself. This is my forum and my voice. So run along now….off to the pleasant corner of the internet with all the perfect people.
Oh…one more thing : holy shitballs, I fucking love blogging. Yup…it’s still cathartic.