Disclaimer: If curse words offend your pretty little eyes, turn away now. Because I can guarantee that this post is going to be riddled with choice “sentence enhancers”.
Ok, now that that’s out of the way: I fucking hate science fair-type projects that require parents to do most of the work to complete said project. Seriously. I am so pissed off right now that it’s probably a sign of mental imbalance.
In our grade school, the kids take part in the local science fair through the 5th grade and it has been the bane of my existence each year. But this year, all of my kids are 6th grade and older. Score! No science fair for us!
Except…they now have to come up with an invention to create. Fuck.
And this isn’t just a ‘think up something and write a little summary and draw a picture’. Nope. This has to be drawn up and researched and then actually created. Oh, and it has to be something that hasn’t been invented yet and the kids are supposed to write up a ‘patent’ for it. Seriously Motherfucker?? Don’t you think that if I, or my kids, could think up some nifty thing that hasn’t been patented, we would have done that by now and not still be shopping at Goodwill?
And we didn’t have anything else going on this weekend anyway…no reason why we couldn’t make this our entire focus. So yesterday we hit up Goodwill to see if we could find anything that would work to create these ‘new’ inventions. Ended up spending less than $20 so that part wasn’t too bad. But then we had to actually put it all together and make something coherent out of it. Dammit Jim, I’m a mom not an inventor! But by this point, 6 pm on Sunday night, we actually have things completed in some form or another. They aren’t pretty and I highly doubt either of them will work but they do pretty much match what the kids said they were going to make. Boom! Mission accomplished.
Now excuse me while I enjoy a glass of wine and watch Food Network.