I went for a run today! Not a long one…just to the end of our road and back, so about 1.5 miles…but it’s a big flippin’ deal to me. I haven’t even attempted to run in, oh, about a year. See, I have this ganglion cyst in one of the joints in my left foot, if you read the “My Foot, a Bible, and curse words” post then you’re already familiar with this little issue, and it can get really painful so I quit running. I’ve missed it since it’s really the simplest form of exercise, next to walking, and it always provided a good time for me to clear my always cluttered mind.
And this morning is an exceptionally beautiful morning. Perhaps it’s because it’s been raining for the last two weeks straight. No shit…I planted my garden, as you saw in one of the last few posts, and all that work got washed away with the rain. I have to replant half the beans and peas and replace most of the watermelon, cucumbers and tomatoes. Mother nature is a bitch. But I digress…
I got all the kids off to their respective schools on time (Yeah me!) and as I turned back on to our road from the last trip to school, I thought “I’m going to go for a run this morning”. Immediately on the heels of that thought were a slew of low self esteem voices shouting things like “Are you kidding, you haven’t run in forever”, “You won’t be able to make it half a mile, let alone a mile and a half” and “Your butt will be jiggling the whole way”. I guess my mind is kind of a bitch too. Even when I was seriously running, like 12 miles routes, there was always a little bit of nervous trepidation before a run. Why? I don’t really know how to explain it. The best I can put it is a fear of failing or a fear of looking silly…not that those even make the best sense. I don’t know who I was worried about failing, other than my own standards, but as for looking silly, well that one is probably closer to the core of it. I’m not built like a runner. I don’t have long limbs and nice calves and I’d never be caught dead running in just a sports bra. I’m more like a pear trotting down the road being cheered on by my thighs clapping together. And that mental image is always in the back of my head, quietly telling me to calm the f’ck down if ever I start feeling too good about myself. So…in order to get myself out on the road and not listen to all this crap, I had to not let myself think about it for too long, I knew that even if I went inside and looked for the arm band for my phone, I would give in and that would be that. So as soon as I got out of the car, I headed straight down the driveway. No more thinking…just go.
I felt pretty rusty as I started into a slow jog but I let my body take it’s time to adjust. I always sound like a bowl of Rice Krispies during the first few minutes…my ankles, knees, even hips have to voice their concern. So, I shuffled along, hoping no cars came along to see my less-than-stellar running form. But, after a few minutes I settled into a nice rhythm with my breathing and my body seemed to remember my old running stride. By half a mile in, I was feeling pretty damn good! I looked around a bit and saw a good sized bird above me. Thinking it’s one of the many hawks that we have around here (they are my favorite bird and I have nicknamed them all Ethan which my husband thinks is just ridiculous but I think is absolutely hil-arious!) and I was all “Awesome, I’m inspired by that beautiful bird to keep running”. Just as the thought formed in my head, the bird changed angles and I could see that it wasn’t a hawk after all but a buzzard. Hhhmm…a different kind of inspiration to keep running. I kept looking back to make sure it wasn’t following me.
I got to the turn around point at the end of the road and realized I was still feeling pretty good. It felt like I was keeping a pretty even stride and I didn’t feel like I had to quit so I was mildly amazed. I hadn’t brought my phone so I couldn’t tell for sure about pace but I was running and not dying so that was all that mattered.
When I made it back to the house I actually felt like I could go further but the next bit of road is a nice little hill so I decided this had been a good little outing for now. When I got back to the car I pulled out my phone and checked how long I’d been gone. Only 16 or 17 minutes…which works out to about an 11 minute/mile pace. Not stellar but not too bad for a very rusty runner. And the best part was that my foot felt fine! The whole thing left me feeling pretty damn excited about running again and that, my friends, is pretty damn awesome!