The other night, on a whim, I decided to look at the very first few posts I ever put on this blog. The next thing I knew I was halfway through the seven years of writing so I decided to keep going…I managed to get through all 173 posts. I skimmed some of them, just taking the time to remember the what and why behind each one, but there were quite a few that I stopped and reread in full. Some of them, because they still resonated or were super funny, were read aloud to my husband. He was patient with my impromptu oratories and listened to each bit of randomness as I read to him. His responses generally fell into three categories: “You think you’re hilarious, don’t you?” , “Geez, you’re really caustic, aren’t you?” and “I remember that, I’m glad you wrote that down.” And I realized that all three of those responses are completely accurate and go a long way to explaining why I began this blog many years ago.
Because, in actuality, I do think I’m hilarious. Quite. There were some posts that I could not get through without cracking up; sometimes because I was remembering the subject matter and sometimes because, well, I just think I’m really funny. But hilarity, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder…I may think I’m a freakin’ hoot and you might just be mildly amused. It’s ok, just take my word for it, I really am hilarious.
Also, true story, I am very caustic. I used to be referred to as bitter but once I found the word caustic, I adopted it as my own and decided that was the very best descriptor: “1. sarcastic in a scathing and bitter way; sarcastic, biting, keen, cutting, severe, stinging, scathing, acrimonious, pungent, vitriolic, trenchant, mordant.” Welp, that pretty much says it all. I have a lot of snark inside me and it’s turned my heart into a shriveled little stone toward everyone beyond my very small circle of family and friends. I have zero patience to dumbasses and douche canoes and asshats…basically, Red Forman and Ron Swanson are my heroes.
As for the last observation, that is the one that makes me feel the most grateful that I even started this silly thing. I am so glad that I wrote some of this stuff down. All of the silly, goofy, sweet, wonderful, messiness that is our family…I was able to capture some of it and that’s the reason I started writing in the first place. And, in all honesty, it makes me sad that I haven’t written as much in the last two years. So much has happened, life has moved so fast, that I wish I had captured more of it when I had the chance.
But things are also changing in respect to what I feel like I can write about. Obviously, my kids have been the fodder for most of my writing. But now they are growing up and becoming their own people and I feel less able to share their moments as easily as the I have in the past, out of respect for their privacy. My girls are at an age where they deserve to have a say in what I post about them and there are some things that I’m not allowed to talk about with respect to Wyatt’s chosen line of work. The result is that my fountain of overflowing blog post material is starting to dry up a bit and I will have to broaden my writing abilities. Which I’m more than capable to do, since, as stated previously, I’m freakin’ hilarious and just slightly caustic.