Do as I say, Not as I do.

Teaching your offspring to drive is the ultimate “Do as I say, not as I do” experience.  This is becoming more and more apparent as we draw closer and closer to Wyatt testing for his license.


Let me just say that I am a crappy teacher.  No, really.  There are times that I look at my kids and think, “Why do you not know this?”  If I could just be Spock and do that mind-meld thing, it would probably be best for everyone involved.  Case in point, screaming “We’re all gonna die!” is not conducive to a learning environment.  Just FYI.


Also, I am a good driver.  Really.  But I drive like a person who’s been doing it for the last 26 years.  So, you know, I take a few liberties with the “rules”.  You know, like the rule about stopping at every stop sign.  Pshaw…a complete stop it’s not always needed, trust me.


So take the fact that I’m not a good teacher, couple that with the fact that I’m a driver who drives like a person who just wants to get to where I’m going, and that makes for a definitive “drive as I say, not as I drive” experience.



When Wyatt was taking his permit test, he did not study the book and therefore failed…twice.  When I asked him about one of the questions he missed, this is what happened…


Wyatt:  I got a question about passing wrong…

Me:  What did it say?

Wyatt:  When someone is passing you, what do you do?  A. Pull to the right, B.  Speed up, C. Hold your speed and stay in your lane.

Me:  Um, ok, that seems pretty simple, what did you say?

Wyatt:  Speed up.  (with a ‘duh’ face)

Me:  No!  What?  Why would you say that?

Wyatt: Well if someone is passing you, you’re obviously driving too slow so speed up and they will have to stay behind you.

Me:  {face palm}


I’m not saying that he learned that from me (actually it was probably Mike) but I am saying that I’m probably not the best example for a new driver.  So for all of you out there who will have young drivers soon…invest in driver’s ed classes.  That’s the best advice I have.  They will teach them some weird shit…like holding the steering wheel (with both hands even) at weird positions like 8 & 4 instead of 10 & 2 or even 9 & 3.  They teach them not to use their mirrors to back up (Which is truly asinine.  Really.  Who doesn’t use their mirrors?) and to use reference points when making turns and all kinds of rules that they should learn at one point or another and won’t learn from watching me drive.


It’s worth the cost to have someone else teach my kid all the rules that he will then most likely alter, adjust and probably break.  The only downfall is that now every time he rides with me he points out all the ways I would have failed the drivers test.  Like I care….

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *